I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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