I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize