She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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