You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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