Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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