thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You smell like stripper and shame
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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