I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
