i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
