one two three fourrrrnication!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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