at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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