dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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