I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
