I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
