I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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