I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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