Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
