Girls should come with a carfax report
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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