he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
