Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
