Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
