I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
