Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
