I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
