so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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