it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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