You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
