I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize