Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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