So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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