TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
