This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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