I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
