I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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