Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
