Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
