I heard we made out
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
