You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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