i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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