Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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