I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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