Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
