I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
birth control should be required to get into college
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize