This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
