Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
