OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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