...so i touched it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
