No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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