i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
