it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I love you. Go after that dick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
