How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize