We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
