puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
