Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
