sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
