It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
