I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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