Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
