Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
