i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
